Who Wants to Have Hard Conversations By Kriquette Davis

Back in my Y days, I had to have a lot of hard conversations. Really hard conversations. The ripple effect from some of those conversations was many times very unpleasant. I have had husbands, wives, parents, siblings, friends very angry with me over a disciplinary action and/or termination. At times I just really wanted to tell my side of the story but I couldn’t, so I just had to take it in stride and keep on going. Any of you that have supervised staff know that you cannot discuss personnel matters.

Did I get it wrong sometimes? Yup. Did I communicate poorly sometimes? Absolutely. Did I do my due diligence before having these conversations? You betcha. Fortunately, I had access to attorneys that could guide me on unchartered territory- that was a huge help!

What would’ve happened if I didn’t have some of these conversations? A child’s life may have been in danger. Someone might have drowned. Someone could have gotten injured. Someone may have been treated unfairly. Someone would’ve had a bad experience. In an organization that has as many risks as the YMCA does, you really have to be on top of things. Yes, you want people to love being a member or participant, but most importantly you want to make sure that they are safe.

What does it have to do with you? Well, putting off hard conversations with friends and family can do irreparable harm to your relationships. It doesn’t feel good while it is happening, but the outcome (most of the time) is positive. Everyone feels heard and there isn’t an “elephant” in the room that everyone tip toes around. Having hard conversations is part of being authentic. If you hold in feelings and they simmer and bubble, sooner or later something is going to happen and it will be messy and painful.

Be authentic. Have those hard conversations. You will be surprised at the positive difference it will make!